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A funny up and coming writer with special circumstances Benjamin Rubenstein

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July 2008

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> VERSUS: Colbert vs. Stewart
Posted by puzzlehead - Friday, Jul 4 - 06:31 am - 11 comments


Well, Happy Birthday U.S. of A.!

So, I sat here at my computer wondering what to do. It is, after all, a holiday in the U.S. and in order to celebrate the hard work, sacrifice and moxie that lead to the birth of our nation we do so by...being lazy and not working. Silly me, I even forgot that today was Friday. And Friday is my VERSUS day.

Now, this being the U.S. of A.'s birthday I had considered many, many topics and personalities which we could pit against each other. The bald eagle vs. the turkey, Benjamin Franklin's choice for a national bird. Hmmm. That made me hungry. Nothing like bald eagle with some stuffing and cranberry sauce. But, seriously, how much discussion would that evoke?

Then I thought about how to engage people doing the Democrats vs. Republicans. After a split second of thinking how much that would make me want gouge out my eyes with a rusty spoon, I decided to put up two personalities that satisfied all my requirements. And so we have Stephen Colbert vs. John Stewart.

Stephen Colbert: WikiPedia, The Colbert Report on Comedy Central

Jon Stewart: WikiPedia, The Daily Show on Comedy Central
Read 67 times - last comment by Colorless   

> Just in case I forget: Happy Olympics
Posted by puzzlehead - Tuesday, Jul 1 - 08:48 pm - 9 comments
The Olympics begin soon, don't they? Well, I'm not about to get on a high horse and jibber-jabber about no Chinese human rights violations, pollution, Tibetans, etc., etc. Instead, I long to remember the Olympics for a number of things:
  • In the demonstration sport of bowling Filippino Arianne Cerdena picks up the Philippines first ever gold medal
  • Bare footed Zola Bud and Mary Decker battling in the 3000 meter race
  • The 1980 Miracle on Ice
  • Eddie the Eagle Edwards ski jumping
  • Ben Johnson testing positive for steroids
  • Greg Lougainis whacking his head diving
  • Carl Lewis winning 4 gold medals and tying Jesse Owens record set in 1936.

Ah, yes. Carl Lewis. Who can forget such a strapping young lad back then?

Lord knows I tried but I can't stop this video from burning his image into my brain...





Read 123 times - last comment by The Wart   

> VERSUS: Comic Nerds Power - Activated!
Posted by puzzlehead - Friday, Jun 27 - 04:55 pm - 34 comments
Ok, comic readers - this one is for you. Marvel vs. DC, DC vs. Marvel. It is an age old question for comic book readers. Recently we've seen lots of movies that have come out featuring both stables of super heroes - Iron Man, Superman, Hulk, Spiderman, Batman, etc., etc. Rather than go head to head in the theatrical release department, let's look at a topic that has made the rounds in comic circles before.



From WikiPedia
QUOTE
DC vs Marvel Comics or Marvel Comics vs DC is a four-issue limited series intercompany crossover, published by DC Comics and Marvel in 1996. The series is written by Ron Marz and Peter David, with art by Dan Jurgens and Claudio Castellini.


In this cross-over, we saw several fights between between super beings. In the series Bruce Wayne (Batman) beats Steve Rogers (Captain America). Are you happy with that? Can you justify why one should trump the other?

Ok, if there are any comics junkies out there who want to fill in the back stories for either character for the non-comics readers, feel free to.
Read 564 times - last comment by deformedM   

> I wonder if its all mini...
Posted by B-Dub - Wednesday, Jun 25 - 05:39 pm - 19 comments


QUOTE
Yes, that's Mini-Me Verne Troyer in a sex tape shot with his former live-in girlfriend at the couple's apartment. A third party has snatched up the tape and although no deal has been made, we hear dealer Kevin Blatt, who brokered the deal for Paris' video, is entertaining a $100k offer from SugarDVD to distribute the nastiness.


I heard a teaser of this on the news as, "Star from the new movie Love Guru has sex tape!" I was soo hoping it was going to be Alba, but of course not.

TMZ currently has a very small clip, if you actually want to see it.

I gotta say, if Mini-Me has a sex tape.. who doesn't?
Read 374 times - last comment by Pitchit   

> Sex Codes
Posted by puzzlehead - Tuesday, Jun 24 - 09:27 pm - 3 comments
I am, and from now and all eternity, an Auld. I've been around the block a few times, stopped off at the post box, put some money in the meter and gone around the block again. I am no Lothario, mind you. I've just been lucky enough to experience a lot of things in life, including copious amounts of scrumping.

At least I thought I did.

I surprised myself when I was searching around the 'net looking for the Spore Vaginasaur (thanks, Ariel!) and stumbeled upon My Red Book and, more specifically, the support forums for [My Red Book: Premier Adult Entertainment Community. Holy cow, I had no idea there were this many acronyms and slang terms in the sex industry. Hell, I didn't know there were this many acronyms and slang terms in the world of sex. Here's an example:


QUOTE(Terms and Acronyms)
CFS = covered full service = Sex with condom
CG = cowgirl = girl on top facing you
CH = Crazy Horse, SF Strip Club
CIM = cum in mouth
CL = craigslist.org
CMD = carpet matches drapes, typically a natural blonde
CMT = Certified Massage Therapist. A professional masseuse.
Cowgirl = CG = girl on top facing you
cover = condom
cruising = driving around, looking for streetwalkers
cups of coffee = releases = orgasms
DAP = digital anal probe = finger in anus
DATO = dining at the o = analingus
DATY = dining at the y = cunnilingus
DDP = double digit penetration, kitty and anus
DSL = dick sucking lips
Dodge = streetwalker stroll: Mission Blvd, between A St and 14th St, see 22500 Mission Blvd, Hayward, CA
Doggie = man behind girl, girl on hands and knees
donation = payment
Doubles = A threesome with two girls and you
DDE = doesn't do extras (PS only)
DDG = drop dead gorgeous
DFK = deep french kissing, open mouth with tongue
DIY = do it yourself (masturbation)
DP = double penetration, two guys on one girl
DT = deep throat, entire length of penis taken in mouth
ECR = el camino real
EOM = end of message. No text in message body.
escort = a temporary companion for hire
facial = cumming on partner's face
FBSM = full body sensual massage
fire and ice = a blowjob switching between hot tea and ice
FIV = finger in vagina
FKK = Frei Körper Kultur. German brothel / nudist club.
FOB = fresh off the boat. Asian immigrant recently arrived in the US.
FOV = finger outside vagina
French = BJ
French Kiss = Kissing with tongue insertion...


And it goes on and on. Huh. Who knew? One of my favorite posts is "Escort Ad Doublespeak"

QUOTE
Frequently, an escort uses codewords to mask their perceived inadequacies by transforming them into an asset. Often we are asked, what does this mean or is there a glossary or dictionary, in reference to these terms, abbreviations, and acronyms.

To reduce the confusion for novice readers, we present, myredbook.com's pessimist's guide to decoding escort ads


Some if it is presented as humorous but, if you think about it, it is pretty honest. It really made me think about the Personals portion of the Washington DC City Paper. Call it a guilty pleasure. I enjoy reading the Personals section of this paper. I mean, you stumble on some pretty freaky stuff. Don't believe me? Follow that link and scooch on down to the Kink.Calendar.
Read 211 times - last comment by jackthebarber   

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